January 17th, 2005

A very bright and fresh-out-of-school auditor joined the IRS, and he was quite excited to begin tracking down high-powered offenders such as the Enron and WorldCom guys. Anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit dismayed when his assignment was to audit a rabbi.

Looking over the rabbi's books and taxes turned out to be pretty straight forward, and the rabbi was clearly very frugal, so the auditor thought he'd make his day interesting by having a little fun with the rabbi.

"Rabbi," he said, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."

"Yes," answered the Rabbi.

"And what do you do with the candle drippings?" the auditor asked.

"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "The drippings we save and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker, and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, disappointed that his unusual question actually had a practical answer. "Well, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly. "The crumbs we collect from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them back to the manufacturer, and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."

"Oh," replied the auditor. Thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi, he asked, "Then what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions, Rabbi?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "The foreskins we save, and when we have enough, we actually send them to the IRS"

"The IRS!" the auditor exclaimed in disbelief.

Yes," replied the Rabbi, " the IRS . . . and about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."

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